‘If you lose more weight, then you might be pretty!’
‘I think It will fit better if you go up a size’
‘Maybe this dress isn’t made for someone as big as you’
‘Could you not wear heels? You look like a giant’
These are just some of the hurtful comments I received growing up. Actually, one or two have been mentioned in the past year. Everyone receives some hurtful comments in life. You are either too short, too tall, too fat, or too thin. Why do we say these things? What’s the motive behind these comments? Do people really get any satisfaction out of hurting somebody’s feelings?
I was always the tall, ‘big boned’ girl. I was called Melon head by the boys in my area because at one point my head was too big for my upper body, and my name began with Mel. They found it hilarious. I didn’t. I was then called fat or ‘chubs’ when my head finally grew into my body. We’re all going to be different proportions growing up, that’s inevitable, but kids will be kids and name calling is something that everyone will deal with at some point.I tried not to think too much about these hurtful comments. I would cry, then get over it and go back to playing with my real friends.
As I got older and started secondary school, I noticed I was one of the tallest girls in my class, along with one of my friends whom I had grown up with. As the years went on and things started getting a bit rough at home, I turned to comfort eating. It eventually turned into emotional eating. I don’t know what the goal was, I just thought food would make me feel better. Even if I was the happiest girl that day, I still ate to reward myself. Inevitably, this emotional eating and stress piled on the pounds. I was a size twenty at age fifteen. Family members began pointing out my size, even those closest to me. I was told to lose weight daily and I know it was for my own health. Instead of sitting me down and talking to me properly, I was simply told ‘You’re too fat, lose weight!’. When I wore heels I was called a ‘giant’, because not only was I tall but I was also big.
Everyone in school began talking about where they shopped for clothes and what they would wear out at the weekends. I couldn’t tell them I shopped in the plus-size section. Not only was I uncomfortable with the fact, I knew it wouldn’t go down well in a big group of teenagers.
Everyone has felt similar insecurities, even men. You may look at your friends or family and wonder why you aren’t as pretty, or as handsome, or even as confident as they are.
In September 2012 I decided to take a gap year before going to college. During this gap year I had my eighteenthbirthday. I also cut my hair short and piled on a couple more pounds. When looking at photos from my birthday I was the tallest girl, with the shortest hair and the ‘biggest bones’. When I decided to weigh myself one night I had a break down. What I saw on those scales was scary. I had done this to myself and I had to accept that.
In January 2013, during my gap year, I decided enough was enough. I wanted to fit into nice clothes from high street shops and wear what young people my age wore. Within ten months I had gone from a size twenty to a size fourteen. According to doctors I still wasn’t a healthy weight for my size, but I fit into clothes I never had before. I could order online from stores that my friends all ordered from and I didn’t have to worry about sizes.
When I announced my overall weightloss after ten months, friends began to question me. ‘How did you do it so quick?’I got over fixated with weighing my food. Everything had to way 100g and I never ate anything over 1.5g of fat. I worked out daily. I focused myself, maybe a bit too much, but it was all I had to do for a year. I couldn’t get a job until Christmas season so I just volunteered and focused on losing weight. I still ate what I wanted but in smaller portions.
Spending time online was torture. I’d see girls on Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter that were the perfect height and had the perfect hair and I wished I looked like them.I don’t feel envious anymore. I don’t want to change myself to feel a certain way.
It doesn’t matter what height you are or whether you areshort or tall. It doesn’t matter what you weigh, or what colour your hair is. I change my hair colour every few weeks, I wear whatever I want now and I don’t feel self-conscious. Of course I have my off days where I just want to stay indoors, but I have wonderful people in my life now who get me out of the house.
A healthy body image isn’t necessarily just about how you look. It is about how you feel about yourself, like the way you carry yourself and speak to others. Being nice leads to feeling nice and when you feel good about who you are, you can feel good about how you look. Who you are as a person affects how you look to others. I noticed in the blogger world that people were mean towards men and womenblogging and sharing pictures of their outfits and makeup choices. There’s no reward in life for bringing someone down. Telling someone they look silly in an outfit isn’t going to make you look any better in yours.
Tere are people out there struggling with insecurities on a daily basis. Even people who seem confident still think they are not good enough. Even though I have found self confidence in accepting myself as a person on the inside, I still have features I want to change. I know that’s impossible, unless I spend thousands on surgery. To be truly happy with your body image, you need to accept your flaws and the things you can’t change. Work around them, wear clothes you love, try different make up looks, or go au naturel and embrace who you are. Nobody is perfect. The people who try to bring you down are not perfect,just like everyone else.If we all focus on being kinder and accepting who we truly are, then other’s will too.
I am happy I have been through what I have. I wouldn’t be who I am without the criticism I have recieved. I wouldn’t have changed my ways if I hadn’t heard the harsh truth. I wanted to prove people wrong, prove a point and feel good and I achieved that. If you have a similar issue you can too, just take it one day at a time and soon your overall body image will blow people away when you enter a room! Be yourself, smile, embrace the world around you, work hard and you’ll benefit in every part of your life: your health, your personality, and your confidence, both in your work and your home life. Work on your inner self and your outerself will shine!
Thanks for the support and love 🙂 Your REglam Team xx