Confidence is something that still eludes most people to this day because it involves accepting your flaws and loving yourself. It’s sort of like how you keep a secret for a long time and then when you finally let it go or share it with someone you feel like a massive weight has been lifted off you.
There’s almost this unspoken notion that plus-size women do not have a right to feel sexy because they are not the right size according to media and society.
I have recently turned 30 and I can definitely understand that with growing older also comes wisdom. However, most of all, you realize that the opinions of others mean very little. Your circles become smaller and you don’t need others to validate your existence any longer. It’s a great feeling.
Children Can be Cruel
I wish when I was younger someone told me not to worry about these people. I wish someone said “Stacey, they don’t matter. Only YOU do and you’re going to be great!”
Growing up, I had the experience of being part of the ‘popular’ group and also being teased and bullied for whatever reason. There were two other girls in my class that were about my size and suffered the same aguish. People can be so mean, especially children. They don’t understand why someone like you who doesn’t fit in and isn’t perfect can be ok with their body image.
Negative Comments & Comparisons
It blows my mind to this day how others see their insecurities through you. And instead of dealing with them they want to make you feel bad instead. People have called me fat, ugly, over confident and conceited. They just can’t fathom that someone who looks like me could be confident. They don’t think I should be.
It hasn’t been an easy road for me at all. And it’s not always total strangers or acquaintances that have negative things to say. There are always family members that like to chirp in about the size of my waist line and comments change from “look at you, you’ve gotten so big” to “you would look so much better if you lost some weight.” Comparison definitely is the thief of joy. We compare all the time, sometimes subconsciously. We choose different looks for ourselves according to what we’ve seen on somebody else and they don’t necessarily need to be a celebrity. If you think about it, this is how trends begin.
Embrace the Way you Look
You have to learn to embrace the way you look–use it to your advantage. I do this now as much as I can. If I wasn’t plus sized, curvaceous and didn’t have the body shape that I do then I probably wouldn’t be looked at. I wear body con dresses, skinny jeans and leggings on purpose because they happen to show off my body and accentuate my curves. But I like to dress like a boy sometimes and that’s okay, too.
I love the way my body looks. Every inch of it– my rolls, my stomach and my cellulite – ALL of it!
I think I’m attractive and good-looking. I’m not being cocky or conceited. You have to be your biggest cheerleader and fan because you are beautiful. I live and love by the hashtag that Denise Bidot uses a lot on her Instagram, which is #thereisnowrongwaytobeawoman. I couldn’t have said it any better! There isn’t a wrong way to be a woman. Society just tells us that there is and it is not so!
What Others Think Doesn’t Matter
Not everybody is going to like you. That’s just life, that’s the way it is! And the sooner you start realizing that the better your life becomes. Oh and guess what? Some people are just jealous because they can’t muster the courage to find their confidence.
I’m not perfect, nobody is. I’m still learning things about myself. The several sides of Stacey are still learning to get along. Just try to be happy with yourself and know that what others say and think of you does not matter.
Be fearless–it’s all about where you are going and not where you have been.
I recently took part in a plus-size model search and from thousands of applicants made it to the Top 25. I have now been selected as one of their brand ambassadors.
Revelation Fashion is a South African brand that specializes in designer plus-size formal wear. They strive to knock down barriers and stereotypes of the perception that plus-size women cannot be beautiful and alluring. They aim to make the “fuller-figured” woman feel confident and at peace with herself while embracing her physique. Revelation Fashion also provides image and styling services to further educate their customers on dressing appropriately for their size and their body shape.
Writer: Stacey Johnson
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